If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have never imagined that my life would be where it is right now. One year ago we had just been added to the ever-increasing wait list to adopt from Vietnam (Stephen’s birthday, July 12 was the exact date). We wanted so badly to be parents but, at the time, did not ever think it would happen biologically. Our issues with suspected infertility were never something that I blogged very much about at the time, and truthfully, they weren’t even something that concerned us much. My Endocrinologist had diagnosed me with PCOS over a year earlier, long before we were ready for kids, let alone trying for them. We hadn’t exactly been not trying either though, so it sort of made sense why we had been so “lucky” those first few years of marriage.
By the time we felt we were ready for kids, we had reconciled with ourselves that it probably wouldn’t happen biologically, and were 100% ready to adopt. Besides, we had both always felt (and still do!) a desire to adopt. Fertility treatment never even entered our minds as an option. We never had to endure the emotional and financial toll of fertility treatment, or trying each month only to have our hopes dashed. We found out about my PCOS at a time when it was “safe”- we were still emotionally distant from the idea of getting pregnant and carrying a baby. While we understood that we would possibly never have a child biologically, we never really understood infertility in the way that so many couples do.
I guess maybe that’s why when we randomly found out that we are expecting our first biological child almost 11 months after starting our adoption, I almost felt a little guilty blogging about it. Okay, I admit that at first, I was way to excited to feel anything but crazy-ridiculous joy, and I blogged incessantly for a couple of days, but then I started to receive wonderful, sweet comments for women who I know have struggled with infertility, PCOS in particular, for many years and it really started to bother me how unfair it all seems. Maybe that’s part of the reason I have become such a horrible blogger lately…I mean, our story just seems too good to be true: with all of the awful Vietnam adoption news that was going around a couple of months ago we, along with hundreds of other families, were mourning the fact that adoptions we had longed for would not come to pass, that there would be another roadblock in our path to parenthood, and then BAM! we find out that we are expecting. Meanwhile, there are so many families out there still mourning, still trying to figure out which way to turn next. How unfair is that?
Anyways, I guess what I am trying to say is thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being so excited and supportive of us. It really means a lot, especially as I know that this is a very difficult time for many of your families. Know that I am still thinking and praying for you.
I don’t want to forget for one second how truly blessed my life has been.
And I promise to try to be a better blogger from now on!=)